Climb the stairs up to my room, Sleep away the afternoon

cause you knew you were finally free

2005-10-26T07:37:08Z

Well I suppose it is time for a little life update over here.

Lets see….where do I start.

I got a new kitty which is totally bittersweet. He’s pretty rad though….pure breed British Shorthair that I only paid $200 for!! I rescued him which makes me a nice person. I mean, wait, I already am a nice person…therefore it reinforces that I am a nice person.

I also graduated from culinary school on Friday! Go me right! Its so weird….how accomplished you feel after you walk on stage and pick up your diploma.

After that we all had dinner at Mark’s which was so phenomenal that I can’t even explain. I haven’t even wanted to eat since going because I know that nothing will ever taste as good as that meal….nothing. ever.

So I have these two friends whose friendship is on the rocks and it’s just got me thinking about friendships that I have had and lost, had and lost and regained, and had and lost then regained and lost again.

It seems to me that I have lost many friends through judgment. Judgments that they have made of me or heard from someone else… just stupid high school crap.

See I think of myself has a pretty good person….I know I am a good person. I don’t manipulate or back stab or mettle in anyone’s business. I’m sure I have lost friends before they even had a chance to become friends with me. People would think that I was stuck up or a bitch or someone who thought I was better then everyone. When the truth is that I was just shy and convinced that no one would want to be my friend…which is so self defeating now that I think about it. And I still have issues with this.

I think what it mostly boils down to is that girls are just catty. Woman have this way of just cutting each other down for no reason over stupid things. I know that I have a handful of relationships that I don’t know for sure why they ended but I am sure it was over small stupid things that mean nothing in the realm of how terrible the world really is. And I would love to have these relationships back because they were, in all, good.

I guess my point is just that when your relationships get on the rocks (so cliché, I know) instead of pushing away, or yelling or back stabbing – talk to one another.

It’s so simple yet so hard. But I assure you, talking to the person at the time is a lot easier then wanting to talk to them 7 years down the road and not being able to because of some story line that is so unimportant that you don’t even remember the details.

dag yo i got tagged.

2005-10-26T07:11:59Z

okay i got tagged by adam so...here goes.

List 10 things that bring you a moment of joy & tag six friends to do the same...

*a nice cup of hot green, white or black tea
*a good sneeze
*my new kitty's big golden eyes
*knowing that i am going to see death cab in about 2 weeks
*the filcker of a candle inside a freshly carved pumpkin
*a nice cold beer that actually has flavor!
*knowing that life moves forwards, not backwards
*my new darker hair color
*laughing with my sis and mom on these lazy days
*katamari damacy!!!!!

alright. i did it. even though i am in a horrible mood. and i am not gonna tag anyone because that is just lame.

time flies

2005-10-15T00:00:27Z

Seven years ago, it was Fall 1998. Take this quiz, post the results, and see how much things have changed since then.

7 years ago...

How old were you? haha i was 15... just a baby.

What grade were you in? i had just started 10th grade in pittsburgh.

Where did you go to school? Pine Richland High School...i hated it.

Where did you work? i didnt work.

Where did you live? parents house in pittsburgh...i had the whole basement to myself! it was pretty sweet.

How was your hair style? my hair was still it's natural dishwater blonde.

Did you wear braces? yes

Did you wear contacts? yes

Did you wear glasses? at night

Who was your best friend? i didn't have any friends at that highschool!

Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend? didn't have one

Who was your celebrity crush? hmm...i think fred durst? ick. that is so dirty now that i think about it.

Who was your regular-person crush? no

Were you a virgin? yes

How many piercings did you have? none!

How many tattoos did you have? none!

What was your favorite band? i dont remember...i was a lame o though. i listened to the radio.

What was your biggest fear? that i would never get out of pittsburgh alive.

Had you smoked a cigarette yet? yeah i had tried one.

Had you gotten drunk or high yet? i got slightly tipsy that new years.

Had you driven yet? only in a parking lot with my mommy.

If so what car(s) did you use?

Which of your pets were still alive? this question makes me sad.

Which members of your family were still alive? my grandparents were still living.

Which members of your family were not born yet? no one.

Did you know the person who sent this to you? i got it off brajot's myspace bulletin.

NOW! you guys do it and post it in the comments! it will be fun!

ijustwokeup @ 2005-09-30T17:00:00

2005-09-30T22:28:28Z

so we survived hurricane rita, but we did have some bad damage:

haha okay so not really any damage at all but thats a funny pic anyway.

in other news, life sucks at the moment.

mostly a combination of good days and bad days. days where i wake up and breathe in life and realize that i should be thankful that i am alive, mixed with days where i can hardly get out of bed and find it painful to breathe and wake up with no hope in the world around me.

my heart hurts. and i now know that life can truly be difficult. and its unpredictable and you have to work at it. or at least i have to work at it.

weeks ago i was looking forward to my future and now i just...hate having my eyes open.

because when they are closed i dont have to see my current surroundings. rather i can pretend and imagine that i am in another place where things are peaceful and not as they are but as they were, as they used to be.

i am sorry to say this but i cannot write what happened in here. i cannot write it anywhere. because writing is permanent and when you write something down that means that it is real and constant and that it happened.

all i can say is that i lost something living and beautiful and special and irreplaceable. something that used to breathe yet no longer breathes here on earth but breathes somewhere that, at this exact moment, i long to be.

i will leave you with this poem. anyone who has lost someone that held onto a tiny piece of their heart will understand the beauty of this writing.

ON HEARING OF DEATH

We lack all knowledge of this parting. Death does not deal with us.

We have no reason to show death admiration, love or hate; his mask of feigned tragic lament gives us a false impression.

The world’s stage is still filled with our roles which we play. While we worry that our performances may not please, death also performs, although to no applause.

But as you left us, there broke upon this stage a glimpse of reality, shown through the slight opening through which you disappeared: green, evergreen, bathed in sunlight, actual woods.

We keep on playing, still anxious, our different roles declaiming, accompanied by matching gestures as required.

But your presence so suddenly removed from our midst and from our play, at times overcomes us like a sense of that other reality; yours, that we are so overwhelmed and play our actual lives instead of the performance, forgetting altogether the applause.
-Rainer Maria Rilke

ijustwokeup @ 2005-09-23T19:16:00

2005-09-24T00:19:16Z

okay so i know i havent updated in forever....lots of crap has happened.

i'm writing this entry right before i am turning off my laptop to endure this tiny little thing known as hurricane rita. my family decided to stay in houston and tough it out.

i'm not that worried at all.

i will update once this thing is over.

keep us in your prayers!!!

<3 kat

six feet under

2005-08-23T06:22:29Z

so last night was the final episode of six feet under and i have to say....i have never seen a show end better in my entire life.

it had such an incredible impact on me....the show and especially the ending.

i sobbed like crazy during the last episode and i must say, i simply love the idea of seeing all the people that we love that have passed on in the moments before we die... because its like, thats the greatest thing about dying. is that we will get to see those that have gone on before us.

and it is just beautiful to think about death like that.

this is so emo

2005-08-21T23:56:40Z

You scored as The Middle - Jimmy Eat World. You are "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World! Good for you, you are your own person without trying to hard to stand out. You don't give in and won't back down, but you're not too stubborn. You live by a set of morals and no one can convince you to change them. Your friends are with you until the end.

</td>

The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

100%

Feeling This - Blink 182

95%

Minority - Green Day

90%

Too Far Gone - All American Rejects

80%

Helena - My Chemical Romance

75%

Home - Three Days Grace

65%

Buried a Lie - Senses Fail

60%

Cute without the 'E' - Taking Back Sunday

60%

Save Me - Unwritten Law

55%

You know what they do to guys like us in prison - My Chemical Romance

55%

Work - Jimmy Eat World

35%

You're So Last Summer - Taking Back Sunday

30%

Burnout - Green Day

10%

What emo/rock song are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

i know....

2005-07-11T05:58:47Z

i just updated but i got sent this in an e-mail and thought it was pretty rad.

Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.
- John Christian

i'm staring at the asphalt wondering what's barely underneath

2005-07-11T05:55:42Z

tonight i went to see Dark Water at alamo drafthouse. i was pretty psyched because it looked creepy.

well all i can say is that the movie took up 2 hours of my life that i cannot ever get back. i feel so cheated. i feel like i should make the movie sleep on the couch tonight.

they should rename the film "lame water."

i am watching full house now. who was your favorite character on full house? i must ask. mine was uncle jessie.

any man that pays as much attention to his hair as i do is totally cool in my list.

this day went pretty well. i received three rather nice compliments:

"you have such a beautiful smile."

"you look really cute tonight!"

"you have really pretty eyes...they remind me of angelina jolie's."

and my most favorite compliment ever was given to me on one early saturday morning in june:

"you have a gorgeous mouth."

i'm not trying to make myself sound all hot or anything. i am hot. and at the moment i am feeling pretty damn good about myself which doesnt happen often.

so let me have my little moment. and don't worry. by next week i will have forgotten all these compliments and replaced them with insults.

words of wisdom

2005-07-08T06:34:36Z

My sister has this little book called Taxi Driver Wisdom. Basically this guy talked to all these cabbies about life issues and got some real good, raw wisdom. Just thought I would share some of them.

Taxi Driver Wisdom:

On 20/20 Vision – “As soon as you meet someone, you know the reasons why you will leave them.”

On starting a relationship – “New shoes always hurt.”

On Chemistry – “Love is 90% responsibility. Whatever that other 10 percent is, it must be quite something.”

Defying Gravity – “As a couple gets older, they pleasure each other with laughter instead of sex.”

Life’s great motivators – “You marry out of your greatest love or your greatest fear.”

On getting to know someone – “Don’t be conservative with a new love. Be liberal and you will find out what you want to know. Don’t stop them at each thing they say or they will try to be careful with you and you’ll never know what sort of person they want to be.”

On the darkest hours – “Mostly I just hate to sleep alone.”

On choosing a mate – “You can’t go with the person who loves you. That means nothing. You have to be with the person who you love.”

On simple tasks – “If you are good at anything, that is beauty.”

On uniqueness – “Don’t you worry if one person is not showing the same love that someone else has shown you. No two loves are the same.”

On understanding – “If there is understanding, there is love. If there is no understanding, there is only an endless stream of questions.”

Judging character – “Don’t look at what he is not. Look at what he is.”

On the collective unconscious – “We all connect, like a net we cannot see.”

On guilty pleasures – “Never be embarrassed about something you like.”

On soul searching – “When you think you have lost something, it is usually still with you.”

On finding a mother – “Women choose who they love the most. Men choose who loves them the most.”

On identity crises – “Whatever you become, someone will long for what you were.”

On finding you path – “There is no need to stand behind anyone when there is so much room to walk.”

the starburst stands alone

2005-07-05T07:10:33Z

tonight we went to the huge fireworks festival downtown. a friend of ours had all these vip passes and since every july fourth for the past 3 years has sucked, i decided what the heck.

my best fourths have occurred up north. when we go to my aunts house for food and fun and then onto another aunts house for a great fireworks show. but we aren't usually up north on the fourth so i was forced to find another option.

and although tonight was super fun, it is still second to sharing the fourth with my family in ohio.

actually tonight made me feel rather lonesome. standing there, holding my head up to the point my neck started hurting to stare at the sky, my heart started hurting.

because honestly. what could be better then standing on top of a grassy hill, with a slight buzz on, watching sky flowers explode in the sky with your arms around the one you love.

on a day that celebrates freedom, freedom to do what you want, say what you want and feel what you want... all i can seem to feel is alone.

the living dead, including edgar

2005-06-24T08:34:33Z

i just got back from seeing a late night showing of Land of the Dead and i gotta say....i truly enjoyed it.

lots of gore and a pretty good plot.

it was interesting. the couple next to me brought their 4 year old girl to the movie, in pajamas and she proceeded to sleep through the whole movie.

next to me.

wtf?

i've decided that if the dead really did start coming back to life in zombie form that i simply would not make it.

i don't own any weapons. i doubt that throwing an edgar allan poe book at a zombie would phase it at all. in fact, if the zombies were at all like they are in land of the dead, it would start reading it.

haha. what a sight to behold.

a zombie enjoying The Cask of Amontillado.

crashes and crushes

2005-06-23T05:33:17Z

okay so i haven't updated in ages. crazy. its june and i am just now posting an entry for the 2005 year. yowza.

so whats going on you ask? summer break is what's going on at the moment. ya know, sleeping way too much during the day and watching too many infomercials during the wee hours of the night.

am i really 22?

today i went to something sad. a friend of mine's mom died and i went to the calling hours. don't you hate how sometimes you only see people when terrible things happen.

i couldn't stop crying. the kind of moment where you think you are going to make a really loud noise because you are trying not to cry yet at the same time not breathing enough.

i really hate crying in front of people.

on a lighter note i have a crush. yeah but we all know how that goes.

yesterday my mom randomly asked me about my ex-boyfriend and it got me really sad. it has been way too long since i loved someone that actually loved me back.

and even though he loved me i pushed him away. poor boy.

i am living a selfish life and i hate it. i have no one to appease. no one to bend over backwards for. no one to mess up my life and make me unselfish because i want them to.

because i love them.

this is supposed to be a neat thing to do i guess

2005-06-23T05:08:16Z

here are my top 25 most played i-tunes songs.

don't make fun.

1 Walking With A Ghost - Tegan & Sara
2 We Are Nowhere And It's Now - bright eyes
3 A Movie Script Ending - Death Cab for Cutie
4 I Know I Know I Know - Tegan & Sara
5 Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
6 White Houses - Vanessa Carlton
7 A Lack of Color - Death Cab for Cutie
8 Crash - Tommy Boy
9 Let Go - Frou Frou
10 What You Waiting For - Gwen Stefani
11 Float On - Modest Mouse
12 Beautiful - Christina Aguilera
13 Steadier Footing - Death Cab for Cutie
14 Title and Registration - Death Cab for Cutie
15 Crazy in Love - Beyoncé featuring Jay-Z,
16 Heart Of Gold - The Kinks
17 A Praise Chorus - Jimmy Eat World
18 Daughters - John Mayer
19 Pictures Of You - The Cure
20 Blacking Out the Friction - Death Cab for Cutie
21 Coney Island - Death Cab for Cutie
22 Drugs Or Me - Jimmy Eat World
23 I'll Sleep When I'm Dead - Warren Zevon
24 Looking for the Next Best Thing - Warren Zevon
25 Aaron and Maria - The American Analog Set

so there you have it. judge if you like. judgy mc judgersons.

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!

2004-12-24T19:45:34Z

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

It was snowing outside a bit and for a brief moment I felt just like a child again.

Hope you have an awesome Christmas!!

(I'm so excited, I can't put my arms down!!!!!)

election ' 04

2004-11-03T04:39:15Z

so today is election day....and while i wont tell you my opinion or critic yours, i will quote some words of wisdom, given by the great peanut buddy linus:

"There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin." -- Linus

don't bother

2004-10-29T00:33:17Z

i'm supposed to be taking a shower right now but i decided to get on here and lament for a bit.

i'm going through that stage that i tend to go into every few months. the stage where i can hardly get to sleep at night. the stage where i get lost in my thoughts to the point where even now i'm not in our library at the computer, rather i am far off in the spring of 2002 when things were different.

i dont know what i am doing. i dont know what i am expecting from the people around me and i certainly dont know why the hell i am even breathing this present moment.

see, i already know the truth. the whole truth and nothing but the truth. yet, everytime i think about it, i still can't fathom it.

even though people lie all the time, it still hurts when people lie directly to your face. or in this case, there is no face to face.

there in lies the problem.

so here is how we'll do it.

i'll think of you as the total loser who fed me nothing but bullshit lies, who i dont want to see or speak to.

and you can think of me as the one that got away. the one that actually took concern to you. the one that was always to high up for you to even get close enough to touch. the one who slipped right through your hands.

the one who, even though you may not realize it now, you will always miss.

ijustwokeup @ 2004-10-14T22:15:00

2004-10-15T03:15:20Z

holy wow i want this little guy. i cant stop smiling and giggling when i look at this picture.

somebody call the giddy police.

lies and burns

2004-10-14T04:56:19Z

there is something about me...either some personality trait or something, that makes people think its okay to lie to me.

(yes, i'm talking about you)

allows them to just forget to tell me the truth.

maybe i'm genetically predisposed to it.

like the disease that eats away the roots of my teeth, some of the people i care about in life are eating away at the only structure that holds life in place - honesty.

except there is no pill or mouthwash that can reverse the effects of dishonesty.

in other news, i burnt the crap out of my hand in school today. so bad that i couldnt stop the curse words from coming out of my mouth.

the saute pan didnt look hot and i got completely burnt by it.

the people that lie to me dont look like dishonest people yet i get completely burnt by them.

even super man dies

2004-10-12T01:33:04Z

this morning when my dad woke me up he told me that superman died. if i had been a young child i would have freaked out because with out superman in the world, who would fight crime for us?

but at this age i just felt sad. and lonely. i remember when he had the accident very vividly, i remember that it helped re-enforce my fear of our horses.

it just made me really sad. i hoped he would have been the first person with his condition to walk because he had the passion for it and that...is priceless.

on a lighter note, my weekend was quite interesting. next time someone tells me that we are going out to a "lounge" for the night, i will know that by "lounge" they really mean smoky club full of scantily clad women, obnoxious men and, basically, people wanting to get laid.

it was terrible becuase it is so not my scene. i cannot tell you how many times i heard the following phrases: "i just wanna get laid" and "she's totally not gonna give it up dude"

the worst part is that i didnt even get a buzz. meanwhile, all those around me had one. therefore i turned into the only one not having fun. not having fun to a point where i couldnt even hide the disgusted expression on my face any longer.

did i mention that someone bumped into me and spilled my shot all over candice and myself?

did i mention that men i dont even know or remember put their hands on me as they walked by?

did i mention that the girl we were with would not commit to a spot in the bar and by the end of the night it felt like my madden's had brutally murdered my feet?

it was...interesting. and i learned somethings:

even if i was a size 0, i would not be one of these girls who wears a low cut shirt with my breasts hanging out and goes to a club to pick up men. or even just to dance.

i will never, and you will never, meet anyone at a club worth bringing home to your parents. if you do, let me know.

the only men that hit on your when you're not wearing the low cut tops are the, what i call, "sensible men." Otherwise known as the guys that are way too old to be at these clubs.

thats about it for that rant.

last week in church, i got the blood of jesus spilled on my skirt. luckily, it didnt stain. and i kinda dont want to wash it because its really really blessed now.

BUT now i have to wash the skirt because i got gum on it in that XXI store, better known as forever 21. i also got in trouble for taking a coat of a mannequin. it was hilarious.

last week, kara and candice found a list at the grocery store. it consisted of the following:

something
something
pregnancy test
condoms
lemon propel
sugar free red bull

apparently this person is planning on having lots of sex and they, therefore, need to keep their energy level up.

it was much more interesting than our list:

cheese pizza
orange crush soda
funyuns

we weren't planning on having sex. we were planning on making ourselves totally undesirable by eating crappy junk food.

mission accomplished!

alright. check ya later.

wedding pictures

2004-09-27T06:06:52Z

okay. i finally got around to posting the pictures from the wedding.

keep in mind that all of these were taking by people at the reception, both drunk and sober, and with disposable cameras.

enjoy!

candice and matt

here is candice and matt at the reception. yay! and there's george, the classical guitarist, on the right.

kat and neil

here i am with neil. our hair looks bad here so dont hold it against us okay?

the girls

here's me and the girls: me, anastasia, candice and kara. you can also see the bride and groom behind us. this is one of my favorite pictures because its so "pose-y" hehe.

the dice and i

here is a terrible picture of "the dice" and i dancing. i beieve candice is doing the white mans dance...and i just look like a dork.

parents

here are my beautiful parents. they look so young and cute! my mom looked so hot, no one recognized her!

the girls...again

here's me and the ladies, drinking a little champagne. aren't we pretty!?

bridesmaids

here we are, just us bridesmaids. i was the maid of honor. i like this pic because you can see how pretty our flowers are.

matt and i

matt and me at some point during the reception. we probably got caught on the dance floor or something.

dance! dance!

candice and i dancing with my little cousin. yup, just another embarassing dancing picture.

mom and matt

mom and matt tearing up the dance floor!

kat, mom and jerry

mom and i with our good friend jerry howard. some of me got cut off in the picture...who knows.

flowers!

kendras pavaratti pink flowers....they were gorgeous!

ah...the memories

mom and dad dancing...looking all nostalgic.

mom and kat

mom and i dancing. i was fun. and the more i drank, the more fun dancing became.

toast

my mom and dad toasting the newlyweds. i hadnt cried the whole time, then my dad gave the toast and i lost it.

cake

you cant really see the detail on this picture, but up close it was stunning! and so yummy.

grooms cake

here is the groom's cake and all its chocolatey goodness.

flowers

another pic of the bridesmaids flowers! and you can see our cute bags!

mom and the bride

mom and kendra looking all cute on the dance floor. kendra said she felt like a princess: mission accomplished!

cake...cake!

the cutting of the cake! and, no, they didn't push it in each others faces.

kendra and kat

me dancing with the beautiful bride! we look like dorks but whatever!

well, thats it. hope you enjoyed, i know i had fun that night!

last night my sister got mugged, raped and killed....or so i thought.

2004-09-27T05:36:37Z

last night my sister went out with some friends to have a drink. she really wanted me to go with her but i didnt want to. we had already gone out the night before and i really didnt want to drink again...plus my mom and i had to plan for this church thing.

so she goes out. i call her at about 10:30 to see if she could do us a favor: we forgot to pick up orange juice for my dad and could she pick some up on her way home.

she said yes and that she would call when she was coming home so i could remind her about the OJ.

by 2 a.m. i hadnt heard from her, so i call. no answer. at 3:00 - the same. at 3:20 and 4:00 - still no answer.

so i get worried. i told my mom that i didnt feel comfortable going to sleep without hearing from her.

we decide at 4 a.m. to go look for her. we go to her friends parking garage cause i assume that she is just staying the night over there.

i wanted so bad for her car to just be there...just be there so i can lecture her tomorrow about how worried we were and how she needs to cal us when she is not gonna come home.

her car isnt there...not on the first floor, or second or fourth.

i feel sick to my stomach. we start looking around the area, but we still dont find her car so we go home.

we go by the store thinking that maybe she is there. she's not, of course, and as my mom goes in to buy OJ i just keep praying to God that when we pull in our driveway, her car will be there.

but it isnt. i look at my mom and i say "i dont know what we do next...no one's ever gone missing before"

we go inside and make some 5 a.m. phone calls that would be all the more fun if they were just pranks. candice, neil, tim....my sister kendra.

we go up to her room and start looking for numbers. i leave the room and when i come back my mother is so upset that she is crying. i dont know what to tell her, i just make sure not to cry too because i dont want to upset her more.

i have one last option. her friend matt lives about 10 minutes away. maybe after the party, she went over there and fell asleep. so mom and i venture out one last time.

i've never been so scared in my life because if her car isnt there, then i have no more ideas or hunches. if her car isnt there, i dont even have hope.

we drive over there. i started thinking about what my life would be like without my sister, one of the few people in my life who can read me like an open book. i start thinking about how i would survive. i think "this is just what happens. this is real life. no matter who you are, you cant always have all the people you love stay around for forever. it doesnt matter if your christian or muslim - people get taken away from you in an instant and there is nothing you can do about it."

i started thinking about the lovely bones. i start thinking about life events happening without her and what it would be like to have this void inside of you on every holiday and every birthday.

i start wondering what i would say at her funeral...or if i could even bear to go. or how i would live with myself knowing that if i had just gone out with her, none of this would have happened.

how i probably wouldnt live at all but rather take my own life because the guilt would surely kill me.

we pull onto matt's street and when i see her car, i look at my mother and i just started bawling.

she had done just had i'd suspected before my imagination started taking me to all the dark places in the world. she was just asleep, not dead in some alley off of montrose.

i was exhausted....all the worry and anxiety came out into my bones as a dull ache.

we took her home, and her and i fell alseep together just as we had thousands of times before.

only this time it was sweeter then ever....because a bad thing hadnt happened.

and i can have all the people i love stay around me...forever.

smeared black ink

2004-08-10T06:38:25Z

i love my sister.

because she'll pose with me when i say "lets look cool"

and then she'll realize along with me how lame that is, and then we will take a normal picture

hey. we look cool in both pictures. just admit it. plus you can see my new hair.

why do i stay up so late when i know i should be asleep!

because i am totally incredibly bored out of my mind

2004-06-17T05:43:05Z

Seven things in your room:
1) my bed
2) a whole lot of literature
3) an unused lame computer
4) too many clothes for my own good
5) various electronic items
6) a playstation 2
7) french posters

Seven things to do before death:
1) prove people wrong by finding that special kind of whimsical love that they say only exists in movies and fairy tales
2) get married
3) have fabulous children
4) develop life time friendships
5) either have a resturant or have something published or both
6) share my faith with others
7) make the people around me feel as special as they truly are

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:
1) faith
2) intelligence
3) tattoos/piercings
4) incredible sense of self
5) extremely funny
6) being passionate about things
7) eyes

Top seven movies: (no order)
1) beauty and the beast
2) amelie
3) tommy boy/black sheep
4) sleepy hollow
5) nightmare before christmas
6) halloween
7) holy crap i havent seen enough movies to pick 7

Top seven things you say most:
1) word
2) i laugh way too much
3) hello!
4) hey
5) i dont like this part cause i can't think of what i say
6) dag yo
7)

DO YOU:
Smoke?: nope
Do drugs?: nope
Read the newspaper?: depends. i like the funnies and my dad always brings me the dining in section from the wall street journal
Pray?: all the time
Been in love?: yes
Gone skinny dipping?: ha! no
Had a medical emergency?: yeah. thank God for karas boyfriend.
Had surgery?: lets just say that i've had so much, that i have a designated "surgery shirt" that i wear to all of them.
Ran away from home?: when i lived in pittsburgh i almost did. i remember putting on my coat, walking into the cold winter and just walking without even realizing what i was doing.

Played strip poker?: no
Gotten beaten up?: nope
Beaten someone up?:no but i always thought it would be cool too
Been on stage?:nah
Slept outdoors?: maybe when i was younger, when i didnt have the sense to understand that all kind of creepy crawly things come out and eat your face off while you sleep outside. its true.
Pulled an all nighter? i think i have pulled more all nighters than actually sleeping through the night
If yes, what is your record?: my record? i think something like 50 some hours with winter finals at SWT and then flying up to pittsburgh.
Made out with a stranger?: nope
Been on radio/tv?: i dont think so
Been in a mosh-pit?: yes. 8th grade. at the bush concert. hey they were cool then and gavin rossdale is super cute.
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: a few
First kiss?: sometime in junior high at my first boy girl party
Pepsi or coke?: sprite.
Chocolate or vanilla?: chocolate!
Internet or phone?: both. i'm a geek
Suicidal?: way to often
Stubborn?: of course.
Open-minded?: hmm somewhat
Arrogant?: perhaps unfortunetly sometimes
Patient?: i try...
Hyper?: yes
Nice?: i try to be
Happy?: usually
Depressed?:usually
Shave your head for $1000?: heck no. my hair is my only good feature.
Like candles?: sure
Believe in soul mates?: totally
Believe in love at first sight?: totally
Believe in forgiveness?: of course
Want to get married?: first goal in life
Want to have kids?: second goal in life
Ever want to adopt kids?: it would depend

ABOUT YOU:
[three words that sum you up]: funny, intoverted and interesting
[jewelry worn daily]: my cross, watch, fish bracelet and my great grandmothers engagement ring
[wallet]:right now, a yellow snake skin one
[coffee]: venti cafe americana with soy, hazelnut and an extra shot of espresso
[shoes]: it all depends on the ourfit
[cologne/perfume]: black cashmere by donna karen
[clothing you have on]: yellow shorts and a white under shirt. pajamas i guess is what you could call it

—IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU...—
[cried] its possible
[bought something]: yes
[gotten sick]: no
[sang]: of course. im singing right now
[eaten]: yes
[been kissed]: no
[felt stupid]: that never happens
[wanted to tell someone you love them, but you didn't]: nope
[talked to an ex]: nah
[someone you have a crush on]: nope
[had a serious talk]: yes
[missed someone]: of course. i still miss someone
[hugged someone]: yes
[argued with a parent(s)]: we dont argue
—SOCIAL LIFE—
[best girl friend]: my sisters
[best guy friend]: i guess adam
[boyfriend/girlfriend]: not at the moment
[hobbies]: reading. i am hoping to take my whole 3 week vacation and cram my brain full of literature
[car you drive]: dodge avenger
[would you rather be with friends or on a date]: hmm....it would depend
[job]:nope
[attend church]: sunday mornings
[like being around people]: i love it

shameless plug

2004-05-29T00:01:50Z

see.... i love my sister so i want you all to go check out the company that her and two of her friends started.

so....go.

NOW!

NOW I SAID!